About

A listening ear…

Let’s face it: Sitting down with a perfect stranger and talking about all the intimate details of your life, focusing on what is not working, is not a day at the beach. Ugh. Really? Do I have to?

Most people would rather get a cavity filled at the dentist! But when you’ve tried your best and you’re feeling sad or angry or hopeless or discouraged, it can also be a huge relief. It’s a chance to step back and let someone else who has an objective point of view hear you, validate you, and give you feedback.

It’s such a help when someone totally outside the situation can break it down into all its parts and explain (without a bunch of psychobabble) exactly why the problems are happening. Hope springs up as you hear all of the different ways we can make things better. By the time you leave the office, you’re feeling ten pounds lighter!

A cozy place…

When you come to my office, you will park in front of my modest 1950s split level home in Princeton, about one mile from Nassau Street and Princeton University. There is a path that leads you beside the house and turns to take you back into the yard and down about six steps into my waiting room. As you walk back, one of my cats may greet you, or you can stop to pet one of my dogs taking a sunbath on the stones.

Once inside, you will see all my childrens’ books, toys, and art supplies, in addition to the usual desk, sofa, and chairs. It’s an atmosphere that I hope you will find feels cozy, warm, safe, and inviting. I love working at home–although I do occasionally have to remind my son to stop pounding the drums while I’m in session!

An action plan…

After the first visit and you’ve gotten comfortable with me and the process, we will obviously talk each time you come in about what strategies you’ve tried the week before, how they are working, and what might need to change. For example, if I suggested that you set up a chart for your child to work on his/her behavior, we will look at the chart and discuss the results.

Overall, did you see it helping? Was your child engaged and interested? Did the frequency and intensity of the problem behavior stop? Where did you run into trouble? Was it hard to be consistent? If so, what got in the way?

If I’ve suggested “Special Time”, a technique I’ve developed to fill up your child’s emotional cup, I’ll want to know:  How did you experience it? Did your child enjoy it? Did you have any problems doing it? How has it affected your child’s mood and behavior?

If you enjoy reading, I may ask you to buy a book and read chapters in between sessions so that we can jump right into a productive conversation. Some people also are open to workbooks which can really focus our work in the session, as well as give you plenty to do between sessions. In the case of therapy, having homework can be empowering!

Sessions also give us the opportunity to work on the roots of any given problem. The simple act of telling your story to an objective, empathetic listener is healing in and of itself–but it’s often not enough to bring lasting relief.

Among other things, I may suggest “Tapping” on the problem. Tapping relieves emotional pain without erasing any memories. Think acupuncture without needles. I will direct you on where to tap on your own body as we work on a problem.

It’s an elegant, cutting-edge technique; and there are now over 80 research studies that support what I’ve seen happening in my office for the past 17 years. I’m blown away every day at the results I see from tapping. Upsetting and negative beliefs, for example, can be neutralized in a few sessions.

Before tapping came along, the process literally took years. A client I’ll call Tina had believed from her early childhood that “I’m stupid.” After just a few rounds of tapping, she told me, “I’m a perfectly intelligent person. I can’t believe I ever thought I was dumb.” If that’s not a miracle, I don’t know what is!